


Darkness of the Future

by joukaimokie



Series: Hero's Journey [4]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Gen, Hospitalization, Major Character Injury, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:26:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1575188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joukaimokie/pseuds/joukaimokie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his first tour goes dreadfully wrong Denzel recovers from his injuries in the hospital. With no knowledge of other survivors he struggles with the trauma that comes with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness of the Future

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and associated aspects are property of Square Enix and I am making no money off of this.

Searing pain sliced through his body. The horn caught him across the middle and slammed his body down. It was a silent scream as the feet thundered around him and blood leaked around him. Nothing made sense as everything slowly darkened. He shuddered and took short breaths even as the hand pushed him down. 

Each voice was in the distance, as far away from him as the pain. Even focusing his eyes was a struggle even as hands pressed against his abdomen. None of it mattered. It was just so far away, perhaps it was happening to someone else. He could barely even hear the dying screams of others around him over the gunfire. 

“Come on kid, stay with me!” 

Stay? No, it would be easier to go. So much easier. He just had to shut his eyes and fade away. He could be with his parents then. No one else had to die for him, no one else had to know pain for him. He would be back home with his parents, with Miss Ruvie and Mr. Gaskin, with all the children that had died. It was just a matter of… 

And then a beep, a steady beep that brought him around. He wanted to hold onto it, hold onto this peacefulness. It seemed to be slowly drifting away when he wanted to cling to it. And slowly the eyes opened. The sounds were clearer and Denzel brought in a slow breath. 

Where? Where was he? How did he? 

Fingers twitched as he tried to close his eyes against the bright light. He wanted to go back to the peacefulness but he couldn’t. His body had become suddenly aware of the pain and the sounds around him. What were they? His mind tried to drag out of the sluggishness and place them. Slowly eyes opened again to stare at the white ceiling. He could make that out… but now… 

“Denzel!” 

The voice… he knew the voice. He had heard it so often, warm, comforting… a voice that… 

He took a breath as he forced his eyes to finally focus on something besides the ceiling. They flickered and everything seemed to blur before they focused again. Tifa… her eyes puffy, she took a step forward and his mind tried to place it. Lips parted and he tried to speak. It came out as an unintelligible sound and he wet his lips and tried again. 

“Tifa?” 

It happened suddenly, she came forward and her arms wrapped tightly around him. He could smell the familiar scent of her shampoo as her hair fell in his face and she buried her face. Strong arms clutched to him but he didn’t fight back. It didn’t matter how much it hurt. Slowly he moved and was able to wrap his arms around her. Fingers dug into the leather of her top as he pressed his face into her hair. Her voice came, hushing him quietly as she cradled him close. 

“Denzel… we thought we were going to lose you.” 

He quickly shook his head, the comfort didn’t seem so welcome anymore, not when he had managed to focus. His fingers loosened their grips and his head fell forward slightly. “What…” 

“Not right now,” she slowly loosened her grip and ran a hand over his hair to smooth it slightly as she stared down at him. He tried to focus and remember some sort of detail but all there was were pain, screams, and blood. Lots of blood, from others and blood from his own body. His CO stood over him, his hands covered as he tried to hold the wound closed. 

And then nothing… 

Slowly he clenched his eyes shut. “Tifa… please… is there anyone…” 

She stopped and slowly drew his head back against her breasts as she stroked his hair. “Not right now Denzel,” she whispered as she kissed the top of the teen’s head. 

 

Gunshots, blood, it was everywhere. It tore up everything as people fell dead around him. There was no escape, and Denzel’s fingers tightened into the sheets. He gasped as he sat up straight and stared down. The sweat beaded his forehead and his knuckles pale from gripping the sheets. Each breath came in short pants as the first drop dripped down his cheek. There was no blood, just sharp stabbing pain in his abdomen. Each movement pulled at the healing flesh as he buried his face in his hands. 

He wasn’t there, he was in the hospital, alive. Tifa was there, somewhere. He didn’t see her but he could hear voices outside the door. He strained his ears to try to pick up any of the words, nothing. They were talking too quietly for him to understand or even begin to guess at who the voices belonged to, if he even knew them. Shoes scuffled across the ground as his door open and he lifted his head slowly. 

“Did I wake you?” 

Quickly he shook his head as he looked up towards Tifa. He looked past her for a moment and tried to figure out if anyone else was there. Had the voice been Tifa? Who had she been talking to? 

“No,” he said as he shook his head and returned his focus to her. Instantly the back of her hand went to his forehead as his eyes shut. It felt good to just stop and let her take care of him like she once had. It felt like forever ago that he had been just a kid. But a kid didn’t have blood on their hands. Kids didn’t ever have to make that choice. Slowly Denzel pulled back and looked up at her. “I’m alright.” 

Tifa opened her mouth, about to say something but then shook her head slightly. “Do you feel strong enough for visitors?”

He gave a helpless shrug and leaned back as Tifa stepped out. He heard the voices again but he was beyond caring. Denzel just let his eyes shut for a moment until suddenly footsteps slammed against the ground and arms wrapped around him. He let out a short breath as the long hair fell against him. One hand reached down to press against her back as he dropped his head slightly. He felt hollow, he didn’t want her to cry for him. 

“It’s okay Marlene,” he whispered as the girl looked up, eyes bright with tears. 

“Denzel! We were so scared!” 

“I know, I’m sorry,” he looked helplessly towards Tifa who just stepped over. The bed sank slightly with her weight and she leaned over and touched his head. 

“The WRO alerted us to the attack but they didn’t know who made it for days,” Shelke said as the girl stepped forward. She absently pulled at the fabric of the small uniform before she glanced back towards him. “They needed to work their way through the wreckage,” so detached, Denzel knew she had to be just as he had to be. 

“Is Cloud here?” Did he even want him to be? Denzel wasn’t sure, the last time he saw him was before he left. He could still remember their conversation. But one thing he might never know was if he was proud of him, or if he could never be strong enough. Lightly he touched the back of Marlene’s head and looked around at his family. 

Tifa paused for a second and chewed her lip as if considering whether to answer it or not. “He’s out on a delivery. I left him a message, but you know Cloud,” she smiled slightly as she lightly patted his leg. “But Barret’s on his way.”

“Tha- that’s okay,” it wasn’t that he needed a man, or really anything else other than the constant want to see him. He shifted slightly and pulled Marlene close as he reached out for Tifa’s hand. He wanted to assure them that he was okay, even if he wasn’t quite sure himself. He was alive, nothing else should matter. 

The shaking had fortunately subsided after waking. It was a relief more than anything. He didn’t want them to see him as shaken up as he knew he was. He needed to be able to think and that in itself seemed impossible. He shouldn’t have lived but other than the dull ache at his abdomen everything seemed to be fine. 

“Just give me a minute,” his own voice was clear but as he swung his legs over the tile felt ice cold against bare skin. 

“Denzel?” That one was Marlene and she reached out to steady his arm. He turned and looked at her. He stared as if this was his first time seeing her. Just a few more years and she’d have the attention of all the guys in Edge. He half stumbled and Tifa moved to take his other arm. Her touch was warm and familiar but it wasn’t what he wanted. He took his first step and caught his reflection in the mirror. 

Face badly bruised, they led down his chest, ugly cuts cleaned up and a patch hid the worst of the injury. All that was visible were bruises and shallow cuts. He tried to force a smile for them but his bottom lip was split and the two sides pulled painfully at the cut. It caused a wetness to form and he reached up and felt the fresh blood. 

No wonder they were scared. 

Rick would probably be… 

Denzel’s thought process finally stopped. Rick? Where was he? Had he made it? He didn’t know. He didn’t know who had survived, whether anyone had. Maybe they hadn’t, would their bodies still be there? Or was it something far worse? Muscles tensed and he tried to pull away until Tifa grabbed his shoulders. 

He desperately tried to fight it but the smaller woman was having none of it. She took the strikes as the warrior she was until he finally gave up, panting hard and was allowed to sink to the ground. “Tell me Tifa… tell me what happened? Is Rick alive? What about Corporal Kaler? Or Hison? Or the Sergeant?” 

He wanted to fight it, wanted to keep on asking but the strong arms held him. At first it seemed against his will and then finally Denzel stopped fighting it when his mind caught up to the fact that it was hopeless. Tifa held him too strongly. His chest rose and fell rapidly until finally he calmed down. 

“You need to calm down Denzel, everything’s going to be okay.” 

He felt the hand the tried to comfort him but he wasn’t the child waking from nightmares any longer. The blue eyes dropped and shoulders shook silently as the hand dropped to his back. He wanted to tell Tifa that he was okay, wanted to be the strong one now that he could see Marlene and Shelke watching him. But his body ached and the fog that filled his mind was all consuming. And in the end there were too many things he didn’t know. 

Denzel’s head dropped and his hair hung in his face as he tried to keep from shaking. A sound of footsteps yanked him out of it and he blinked at the view of the woman in the lab coat. 

“I’m sorry to disturb you, but I think it would be best if you let him sleep. The Private is no doubt exhausted after the surgery.” 

By the way she stood and balled a hand on her hip Denzel knew Tifa was about to start a fight. Her mouth formed the stubborn line and the finger went up towards the woman before Denzel found his voice again. 

“Tifa, I really am tired.” 

She looked back at him and nodded before she kissed his forehead and smoothed his hair down. “We’ll be back later Denzel, I promise.” 

“Thanks,” his voice sounded hollow to his own ears as they left and the door shut. 

“Do you need anything to help rest?” 

“Can you tell me what happened? Who else made it?” 

She didn’t answer, just turned and unlocked a cabinet before she forced a few pills in a paper cup in his direction along with a water bottle. “I am not at liberty to say.” 

“Then let me talk to someone who is,” Denzel began as the water bottle was forced into his hand. 

“It’s above your pay grade.” 

It was obvious what that meant. Shut up and take his meds, it wasn’t any of his business. But he had to know, it would haunt his mind until he did. He forced the pills down and it felt as if the water would choke him. He coughed a moment before he placed the empty paper cup and water bottle down. Just shut up and take his pills, don’t ask too many questions and he’d find out soon enough. 

Even if he was the only one to survive he would find out. He couldn’t be kept deaf to the news. 

Denzel’s mind continued to race as she calmly removed her gloves and left the room. He was alone again but it wasn’t silent. Every tiny sound made him jump. They seemed too loud, like the pounding hooves of the stampede. He didn’t know how long he laid like that until he awoke. Denzel gasped and he tore the sheets off as he sat straight up. They seemed to cling to his body and he gave them a disgusted look. They were wet with sweat, a simple white sheet. 

It had felt so real. 

Denzel touched his neck, a quick feel for the rapid pulse that wasn’t hard to find. It was right there, his heart was beating; he was breathing. The sheet wasn’t that fateful one they pulled over to hide the body. As he tried to move from the bed he half stumbled to the sink. There was a sharp yank before he was able to force his mind to start working enough. 

An IV… 

Denzel shook his head and he grabbed the tall metal pole and dragged it along. He felt sick and his feet nearly refused to move. Each step was difficult and there was a stabbing pain but that was ignored until he made it to the sink. The water ran cold over his hands as he splashed his face and checked once again. The pulse was still there. No matter how many times he checked it hadn’t disappeared. 

He sank down and his arms shook as hands gripped the sides of the sink. His hair hung in his face and felt the sudden revolting of his stomach. The acid burned his throat and he turned on the water before he sank back down to the ground. He couldn’t stop the shaking even as his head sunk into his hands. His head pounded and seemed to pulse against his skull. Any worse and he would fear it could crack, no matter how little sense it made. All there was was pain, enough to distract him from the footsteps that hurried towards him and slowly helped him up. 

“Private? Private?” 

“I’m okay,” but he didn’t know who he was trying to convince as he was helped back into the bed. 

“I need to ask that next time you need to get up that you contact one of the nurses.” 

Denzel nodded numbly as he allowed her to force him to lay back down in the bed. He didn’t want to return, certainly didn’t want to sleep. After the nightmare that had plagued his sleep the only thing he wanted was to be awake and to have his questions answered. But his body was exhausted. It shook even as he collapsed into the bed. 

There was a wrack against his door and it almost seemed to echo in his head as the woman offered him the water bottle. 

“Hey, we letting visitors in yet?” 

She sighed and glanced back towards the uniformed man. “If they’re insisting. They better make it short,” Denzel’s mind was running until he felt the arms that wrapped around him. He looked up suddenly startled as the other seemed to find himself. 

“Dead are back to life, huh,” Rick brushed the blond hair out of his face though his smile seemed to struggle. Everything about him had seemed to change from the cocky young man he had known but such thoughts barely made it past the relief. “You look good.” 

“Quit lying,” Denzel shook his head as he pulled slightly at the hospital gown. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding and his shoulders slumped slightly. Rick didn’t look any worse for the wear even though he knew he had to be. No one could have escaped that hell unscathed.

“Whatever,” Rick said as he rolled his eyes. “Just wanted to let you know I’m headed out for leave for a couple of weeks,” he reached out and placed a hand on Denzel’s shoulder. “Wanted to make sure you were going to live before I headed out.” 

“You mean you didn’t want anyone else stealing your job.” 

Rick’s laugh was familiar, something comforting now that he knew he was alive. The pounding of his heart had calmed down considerably, as if knowing this alone made almost everything better. “Come on Denz, way past that,” he said as he flashed a grin. 

Maybe it was just that he felt so tired and the relief that Rick was alive overwhelmed him. Denzel wasn’t sure but as Rick laughed Denzel let himself sink down his shoulders shook slightly even as Rick wrapped an arm around him. But he didn’t tease him like he expected. 

“Hey Denz, take it easy. We’re all here, the sergeant made it out alive too,” Rick stroked the fluffy brown hair that had slowly grown back over the months as Denzel forced himself to pull away. He looked up and could see the same horrors mirrored on Rick’s face. 

It would be a long time before either of them slept a full night.


End file.
